dream log no.004

12/28/2009 § Leave a comment

carlo van de roer

so many vivid dreams, caused by the sharp interruption of sleep, and the willful act of falling back shortly thereafter.

i dreamt of s and his living room, his curly, tousled hair and lazy smile even though in real life it is firm and his hair is never an inch out of line. i dreamt of a party, the girls he waved away, the brief apparition of his mother, the timid way in which his eyes held mine, so perfectly and sweetly out of character.

i dreamt of the next day, lost in a bumbling sea of people forming lines to leave this place, pushing my way through to find him. in the chaos, i came face to face with d, with a gift in hand. a photograph of john mayer, signed to “van” with personal written instructions on where i should go and where he would go and perhaps we would meet in the middle ?

undeterred, i continued to run, to desperately look for s, and woke up in doing so. i opened my eyes. why had i dreamt s as someone else ?

somewhere in this dream, i had seen l, spent time with l. but what exactly of l ? i can’t place it exactly; the shapes refuse to form. but i recall the warmth in my heart. and it lingers there now.


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